Day 3: Quinceañera

Saturday, May 13.

A  quinceañera is a party celebrating a girl's 15th birthday. I just realized that I was calling the event the Quinceañera which is wrong according to the wikipedia I link for context. Whoops.

Today was a day I got the feeling that Tere is sometimes frustrated with Mexican time. Mexicans experience time more as a series of events than a schedule like we do. It can be frustrating. I feel like it's disrespectful but also have to remember that it's culture, no disrespect intended.

I was excited to see this fiesta because when I was a kid, my dad had Mexican-American neighbors. One of their girls was turning 15, and we saw she and her friends practicing some dances out in the driveway for a few weekends in a row.

This was a modest affair. The first part of the event was a mass. We went to a church in the Centro, the town square where all the action happens. We walked past 2 Catholic churches and a little chapel on the way in less than 2 miles, probably. If you thought Omaha was really Catholic, especially South Omaha, then you clearly haven't been to Mexico! Tere was giving me a little tour of Coatpec, explaining how this is the way to get to the Centro and back. It's really easy to do so that made me optimistic. The first part of the event was a mass.

We got there about 12:45 for mass at 1. There was no one there. I had to go to the bathroom because I'm trying to stay hydrated. There was a door to the side of the entrance to the church that said "Bathroom, 3.00 pesos. Ring the bell and wait, the office is below the bell tower." Basically, someone from the office had to unlock this door and the office was on the other side of the church. I had no idea who long to wait for, so after 5 minutes I rang again. The birthday girl and her family began to arrive, so I got nervous that I was going to be in the bathroom when it started. I didn't want to be that stupid uninvited guest who comes in late and then everyone turns around to look at me and I embarrass myself AND Tere. So I slide into the pew next to here. I say, I can wait! She tells me to go ask the lady at the front. There is a women who works for the church that is preparing stuff on the altar. I ask her and she unlocks hallway to the bathroom from inside the church. Here is what I saw:

 There is a door at the end of this hallway that is where I was ringing the bell. I say "hallway" but it was outdoors. The photo on the right is the perspective from the bathrooms looking back.

This was the second chicken area in the passage way. The other one had smaller ones it in that looks like some sort of guinea fowl? I'm not an expert on domesticated birds, I'll admit. Anyway, they sang to me while I peed.

I hurried back to the pew because again, I didn't want to interrupt the mass. Everything seemed the same as when I had left. Tere was hot and asked me to turn on these fans that were mounted on the walls, but they didn't work. She became a little irritated and asked the time. Finally, around 1:30, the priest came out and greeted the birthday girl and her family outside. There were about 15 people or so waiting in the pews. They proceeded in while the priest led everyone in a song. This wasn't a regularly scheduled mass so there was no music, until the 2 guitar playing girls arrived in time for the "Hallelujah" before the gospel. Looking around, I didn't see a piano or organ or anything, so maybe they only have the guitars at regular mass?

Even though I don't speak Spanish, I was raised Catholic and have gone to enough masses to know what was happening in general. I guess that's a cool thing about Catholicism, it's basically the same everywhere. The homily (sermon) seemed super long. During the mass, more people kept coming in. There were no windows to open for air flow so the doors were left open. I could hear the street noise but the birthday girl was very focused on the mass. When it ended I was surprised to see the back 5 or 6 rows of pews, 2 in each row, were filled up.

We got a taxi to go to the place where the reception was. We were one of the first because the family had to stay at the church and take a million pictures. We sat down and waited. It was a familiar-feeling reception place. Food prep in the back, tables around the edges of a dance floor, cake table and "head table" for the birthday girl and her family. Here are the cakes! That stand has 3 above and 1 below, plus one on the table. Later they brought out this HUGE cake that was like 3ftx2ft probably.

After we waited like an hour, we got food. Here it is:

 The waiters put soda on every table: Coke, this fresca, orange fresca, sprite, or this apple soda. There was no water available. In fact, I've never seen anyone drinking water in public. This grapefruit soda was good. I imagine it's what Squirt tastes like, but I don't remember what Squirt tastes like.

 This was beans and rice and pork. The pork was ok. Some of it was really fatty or grisly, and I'm pretty sure I had a tongue in mine. Don't get me wrong, I've heard that tacos de lengua, beef tongue, are really good. But it was kind of hot outside and I was not feeling it.

 This salsa wasn't too spicy for me. It tasted like it was avocado based. Of course there are tortillas in that fabric pocket next to it with the pink crocheted trim. I was totally going to try the black stuff too, until Tere told me it was...something about pig's blood.

Speaking of pig, here is a plate of fresh chicharrones. Pork rinds. That's right folks, it's fried pork skins. I secretly (not anymore I guess!) love the pork rinds from the grocery store, so the authentic fresh ones must be better, right? I was already not in love with pork at this point. But I'm going for an authentic-ish Mexican experience, right? It was crunchy and still hot. Fried pork juice/oil filled my mouth when I bit just half. I put it down and didn't finish it. I almost gagged, but I'm not rude! Ate more tortillas. Drank more grapefruit soda.
There was a vendor selling these little ice cream bags, Tere ordered peanut flavor for us. Don't try to untie the top, just chew off the corner and suck it out. I was really grateful for this since I didn't eat much dinner. It wasn't like ice cream so much as sort of sweet milk with peanut butter flavor and chunks of peanuts. Amazing.

More people kept coming in, one family at a time. The birthday girl got up and greeted each one. We sat, and waited, and sat and waited. It kept looking like something was going to happen. The birthday girl's "escorts" (the 3 boys from school that danced with her) would gather near the dance floor, her parents would stand up, she would come back to the head table...but then nothing would happen.  Around 5 (we got there about 2:30) a family came and joined us our table. They got fresh food, the same that we had but hot. With the newcomers came a new batch of hot chicharrones. I thought I was going to have to leave "to get some aire."

At this point, Tere was getting annoyed again. She said, "What are they waiting for? Just start the dance!" Anyway, eventually the dance started. The girl and her 3 amigos did this choreographed line dance type thing to Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars. Then another to Maroon 5's "Sugar". Then she danced with her dad and every male family member that was there. They looped Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years". All of her tios and primos danced with her for about 30 seconds. Then her dad again. This probably lasted at least 7 minutes.

I'll admit, I was in a bad mood on this day. I don't know why; it was just one of those days where everything is the worst. This song with the daddy-daughter dance made me cry. I have no idea why. And even if I did. I wouldn't have been able to explain it to Tere in Spanish.

I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to leave but I didn't know how to explain it and I didn't want to disrupt the dancing. So I watched.

There was another dance where her friend put a crown on her and she received her last doll to represent her entrance into womanhood. She seemed really happy.

Then there was the "dance of glasses" where we all got sparkling apple juice and they put 4 glasses on the dance floor. They picked up the glasses and danced a little more and then she drank with hooked arms with each of her amigos. That was the last dance.

I was still crying. I think not knowing and not being able to express myself made it worse. I felt very isolated, confined by the language barrier.

Then it was time for cake. The birthday girl took pictures with her family while swiping frosting off with her finger. Then she bit into the big pretty cake face first, hands behind her back. Everyone was distracted so I decided to leave. When I went to ask Tere if I could go home, I was choked up and could barely get it out. I said I have crowd anxiety. While this is true, I didn't feel any crowd anxiety at this party. I haven't in a few years thanks to my daily anxiety pill.

The reception place was a block away from home so I walked pretty quickly back. Tere followed me soon after so I apologized for making her leave. She said it was the dance part which she doesn't like anyway. She asked me if I was sad. I said no, and I can't explain it. I went to bed and I guess she did too. I talked to Scott and my mom and they said sleeping would help. They were right. I couldn't sleep though because I was hungry, so I got up and made a ham and mayo sandwich that I've been eating here.

I've noticed some interesting differences between the use of private and public space here. I saw 2 different street vendors come into the reception and sell cotton candy and those ice cream baggies. I think it is the strong feeling of community here that allows people to come in. I would have considered the reception a private party. Also, people are exposed to the outside all the time. I don't just mean open windows. The front doors are open on most houses in a way that the passerby can see into your house, since the front doors are on the sidewalk here. There is definitely a strong feeling of being part of the community that way.